Grow in Grace

Category: Relationships & Discernment

  • The Story Behind The Peace I Fought For

    The Story Behind The Peace I Fought For

    By: Wendy Morris

    When God Turns Pain Into Purpose

    I never imagined that I would one day put some of the most painful parts of my life into a book.

    For years, those experiences remained tucked away in my heart, written between the pages of journals, and spoken only in quiet conversations with God. There were parts of my story that very few people knew. I had survived them, but sharing them was something entirely different.

    Writing The Peace I Fought For: My Testimony of Faith, Discernment, and Letting Go required me to revisit seasons I thought I had already put behind me. It meant remembering the heartbreak, confusion, betrayal, fear, and grief. But it also gave me the opportunity to look back and recognize something even greater: God had been with me through every single moment.

    What once felt like something I needed to hide eventually became a testimony I felt called to share.

    I had actually started writing a book several times before, but each attempt seemed to lead me back toward resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness. The words may have told what happened, but my heart was not yet ready to tell the story in the way God intended. There were still places inside me that needed His healing.

    Then something changed.

    When I finally sat down to write this book, I realized those feelings no longer had the hold on me that they once did. I was not writing from bitterness or from a desire to make anyone understand what I had endured. I was able to look back with different eyes and recognize how completely God had changed me—my heart, my soul, my whole outlook on life, and even my understanding of what truly matters.

    That was when I knew I was ready. The facts of my story had not changed, but the heart telling it had.

    Obedience Often Begins With Fear

    I wish I could say that I wrote this book without hesitation, but that would not be true. I was afraid.

    I wondered what people would think. I questioned whether I was sharing too much. I worried about being misunderstood, and I felt vulnerable knowing that people would be reading about experiences that had once brought me so much pain.

    But God kept placing the story on my heart.

    I have learned that obedience does not always feel comfortable. Sometimes God asks us to step forward while our hands are still trembling. Courage is not the absence of fear; sometimes courage is simply choosing to obey God even while fear is present.

    > “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)

    Every time I have faced fear and remained obedient to God, something has changed inside me. There is freedom on the other side of obedience. There is confidence—not confidence in my own ability, but confidence that God will meet me wherever He leads me.

    Submitting this book for publication was one of those moments.

    This Is Not a Story About Having It All Figured Out

    I did not write this book because I have everything figured out. I did not write it because healing made my life perfect or erased every difficult memory.

    I wrote it because I am not the woman I once was.

    God has changed me spiritually, mentally, and physically. He has taught me about discernment, boundaries, forgiveness, obedience, and the difficult but necessary work of letting go. He showed me that forgiveness does not require returning to what harmed me. He taught me that protecting my peace is not selfish and that being equally yoked is not merely a suggestion—it matters.

    Most importantly, He taught me that peace does not come from controlling the outcome. True peace comes from trusting Him with it.

    > “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” — Proverbs 3:5–6 (KJV)

    There were times when I could not understand what God was doing. Looking back, I can see that He was rebuilding me even when I thought I was simply trying to survive.

    God Did Not Waste My Pain

    Pain can make us feel as though part of our life has been stolen. We may look back at the years and wonder what could have been different. But I now believe that when we place our broken pieces in God’s hands, He does not waste any of them.

    He can use our pain to deepen our compassion. He can use our disappointments to sharpen our discernment. He can use what nearly broke us to help someone else believe that they can make it too.

    That does not mean the pain was good. It means God is good enough to redeem it.

    > “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3 (KJV)

    My story is not only about what happened to me. It is about what God did within me. It is a story of learning to release what I could not change, surrender what I could not carry, and trust God with the life still ahead of me.

    Why I Chose to Share It

    I shared my testimony because I know there is another woman somewhere wondering whether she will ever feel whole again.

    She may be living with heartbreak, betrayal, or the effects of addiction within her family. She may be questioning her worth, struggling to establish boundaries, or holding onto something God has been asking her to release. She may appear strong to everyone around her while privately asking God how much longer she can keep going.

    I want her to know that this season is not the end of her story.

    Healing may not happen overnight. It can be slow, painful, and deeply personal. But God is present in the process. He is able to bring beauty from ashes, purpose from pain, and peace from places that once held only confusion.

    If even one person reads my story and realizes that she is not alone, then every vulnerable moment involved in writing it was worth it.

    A New Beginning

    Seeing my book published felt like more than completing a project. It felt like a new beginning.

    For so long, I wondered whether this day would ever come. I wanted it, but I was scared. Yet God has a way of bringing us out of our comfort zones and reminding us that His plans are bigger than our fear.

    I could never have done this without Him.

    The Peace I Fought For is now available in Kindle and paperback formats on Amazon. If you are walking through a difficult season—or if you love someone who is—I pray this book reminds you that God is still working, even when you cannot yet see how the story will end.

    This is my testimony of faith, discernment, healing, and letting go.

    But above everything else, it is a testimony of a faithful God.

    Purchase The Peace I Fought For on Amazon

    Reflection Questions

    1. Is there a painful part of your story that God may be redeeming?

    2. Has fear been keeping you from something God has placed on your heart?

    3. What are you trying to control that you need to surrender to Him?

    4. How has God used a difficult season to change or strengthen you?

    Closing Prayer

    Heavenly Father,

    Thank You for never wasting our pain. Thank You for staying close to us during the seasons when we feel broken, afraid, or uncertain. Give us the courage to obey You even when the next step feels uncomfortable. Help us release what we cannot control and trust You with every unfinished part of our story.

    Use our experiences for Your glory. Bring healing where there is hurt, wisdom where there is confusion, and peace where there has been fear. Remind the person reading this that she is not alone, her life still has purpose, and You are not finished with her yet.

    In Jesus’ name, amen.

    —Wendy

  • When Trust Is Broken in the Little Things

    When Trust Is Broken in the Little Things

    By: Wendy Morris

    Trust is a big thing.

    I think sometimes people believe trust is only broken through major betrayals, huge lies, or devastating situations. But honestly, trust usually starts breaking long before that. It breaks in the little things first. The inconsistencies. The half-truths. The things that “don’t add up.” The moments where your spirit starts noticing something your heart is trying to ignore.

    Because if trust can be broken in small ways, what is to say it won’t eventually be broken in bigger ways?

    That is the part people struggle with understanding.

    Trust is not built overnight, and it is not usually destroyed overnight either. It is built through consistency, honesty, transparency, and feeling emotionally safe with someone. It is built when words and actions align repeatedly over time.

    Proverbs 10:9 says,

    “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.”

    Integrity creates safety. Deception creates instability.

    And once trust is damaged, even in small ways, it changes things.

    You begin questioning.
    Overthinking.
    Analyzing.
    Trying to figure out what is real and what is not.

    That is exhausting.

    No healthy relationship should require you to become a private investigator just to feel secure.

    One thing I have learned is this: people who have been hurt by lies sometimes turn around and lie to others themselves. At first, that never made sense to me. If someone knows firsthand how painful deception feels, why would they willingly do it to someone else?

    But pain does strange things to people when it goes unhealed.

    Sometimes people lie because they are afraid.
    Afraid of conflict.
    Afraid of disappointing someone.
    Afraid of losing control.
    Afraid of being fully honest because honesty requires vulnerability and accountability.

    Other times, lying becomes a learned survival behavior. Something they picked up long before you ever entered their life. A defense mechanism they justify because facing the truth feels harder than hiding it.

    But understanding why someone lies does not make it okay.

    Being hurt is not an excuse to hurt others.

    Ephesians 4:25 says,

    “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor.”

    At some point, every person has to decide whether they are going to heal from their pain or allow that pain to spill into the lives of people who love them.

    Pain can either make someone more honest…
    or more deceptive.

    More accountable…
    or more avoidant.

    More trustworthy…
    or more guarded and self-protective.

    The difference is whether they choose healing.

    I think when you have experienced broken trust before, you start valuing honesty differently. You stop looking for perfection, but you do start looking for consistency. You stop wanting empty words and start paying attention to actions.

    1 John 3:18 says,

    “Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

    Because real love is not just spoken. Real love is demonstrated consistently through honesty, character, and integrity.

    You realize love without honesty does not create peace — it creates anxiety.

    And real love should not constantly leave you questioning what is true.

    Trust matters because emotional safety matters.

    Without trust, relationships slowly become emotionally exhausting instead of emotionally fulfilling. You cannot truly rest where you constantly feel uncertainty.

    The older I get, the more I realize that honesty is one of the purest forms of love and respect you can give someone. Even when the truth is uncomfortable. Even when it is hard. Even when it risks disappointment.

    1 Corinthians 13:6 says,

    “Love rejoices with the truth.”

    Because honesty gives people the ability to make informed decisions with clarity instead of confusion.

    And that matters.

    Proverbs 12:22 says,

    “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”

    The older I get, the less impressed I am by charm, words, or promises alone. I pay attention to consistency now. To patterns. To integrity. To whether someone’s actions match what they say.

    Because trust is fragile. Once broken, it takes consistency, accountability, and genuine change to rebuild it.

    But one thing I know for sure is this:
    I no longer want relationships that require constant questioning, confusion, or emotional investigation.

    Peace exists where honesty lives.

    And trust may be fragile, but discernment is a gift.

    God will often show us what our heart is trying to overlook if we are willing to pay attention. Discernment allows us to recognize patterns, inconsistencies, and warning signs before deeper damage is done. It protects our peace, our emotional well-being, and sometimes even our future.

    So pay attention to patterns, not just promises.

    Because peace will never grow where honesty does not exist.

    -Wendy

  • Having a Big Heart Hurts

    Having a Big Heart Hurts

    By Wendy Morris

    My best and worst trait is having a big heart.

    I’ve struggled with this for most of my life. I’m better than I used to be, but it’s still something I have to work on all the time. Because when you naturally love deeply, care deeply, and feel deeply, it can become very easy to overextend yourself for people who would never do the same for you.

    People with big hearts often give the benefit of the doubt too many times. We make excuses for people. We try to understand their pain. We stay longer than we should. We forgive quickly. And sometimes we ignore our own discernment because we want to believe the best in people.

    That kind of heart can be beautiful.

    But if it’s not balanced with wisdom and boundaries, it can also become exhausting.

    I think one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that having a good heart does not mean I have to continuously sacrifice my peace to prove I care. For a long time, I thought loving people meant always staying, always helping, always understanding, and always giving another chance.

    But healing teaches you differently.

    Healing teaches you that you can love people deeply and still choose distance. You can forgive someone and still recognize they are not healthy for your life. You can care about people without carrying the weight of their choices. And you can have compassion while still protecting your peace.

    I used to think boundaries were harsh.

    Now I see them as necessary.

    Because not everyone deserves unlimited access to your heart.

    Some people will take advantage of your kindness. Some people will drain you emotionally. Some people only show up when they need something. And some people will mistake your softness for weakness.

    But having a big heart is not weakness.

    In fact, I think it takes incredible strength to continue loving people after life has given you reasons not to. The key is learning discernment. Learning where your love is safe. Learning who truly values your presence and who only values what you provide for them emotionally.

    The older I get and the closer I grow to God, the more I realize that protecting your peace is not selfish. It’s wisdom.

    God never called us to become cold because we’ve been hurt. But He also never called us to pour endlessly into places that leave us empty, anxious, confused, or emotionally drained.

    I still have a big heart.
    I probably always will.

    But now I pray for wisdom just as much as I pray for love.

    Because a soft heart needs strong discernment.

    Maybe that’s the balance God teaches us over time:
    To stay loving without losing ourselves.
    To stay kind without tolerating dysfunction.
    To keep our hearts open while still guarding them wisely.

    Scripture

    “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

    Reflection Question

    Have you been loving others in a healthy way, or have you been sacrificing your own peace trying to keep everyone else whole?

    Closing Prayer

    Lord, thank You for giving me a heart that loves deeply. Help me use that gift with wisdom and discernment. Teach me how to care for others without abandoning myself in the process. Show me where I need stronger boundaries and where I need greater wisdom. Protect my heart from bitterness, but also protect it from people and situations that disrupt the peace You placed within me. Help me love the way You intended — with grace, truth, and wisdom. In Jesus’ name, amen.

    —Wendy

  • Spiritual Compromise: The Cost of “Just This Once”

    Spiritual Compromise: The Cost of “Just This Once”

    What does spiritual compromise really mean?

    Spiritual compromise occurs when we begin to drift from the core principles of our faith—sometimes subtly, sometimes knowingly—blending truth with what feels convenient, acceptable, or easier in the moment. It doesn’t always look like rebellion. More often, it looks like justification.

    It’s found in the quiet decisions—
    the ones no one else sees,
    the ones we convince ourselves don’t really matter.

    But they do.

    Spiritual compromise rarely starts with a dramatic fall. It begins with a small step in the wrong direction.

    Where It Begins

    It sounds like this:

    “Just this one time.”
    “No one will know.”
    “I deserve this.”
    “Everyone else is doing it.”
    “I’ll ask for forgiveness later.”

    We’ve all heard those thoughts—and at times, believed them.

    Compromise doesn’t usually arrive loudly; it whispers. It slowly reshapes our thinking until what once convicted us no longer does. What once felt wrong begins to feel normal. And before we realize it, we’ve drifted further than we ever intended.

    The Warning We Often Overlook

    In Deuteronomy 28:15, it says:

    “However, if you do not obey the Lord your God and do not carefully follow all His commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come on you and overtake you.”

    (Continue reading verses 16–68 for the full passage.)

    These words are not meant to instill fear, but to awaken awareness. Scripture reminds us that our choices carry weight—real, lasting impact that extends beyond the moment.

    Even the smallest decisions matter.

    Temporary Pleasure, Lasting Consequences

    Let’s be honest—compromise can feel good in the moment.

    It satisfies a desire.
    It fills a void.
    It offers temporary relief.

    But what it gives quickly, it often takes back slowly.

    Peace becomes disrupted.
    Conviction grows quieter.
    Distance from God becomes greater.

    What once seemed small begins to influence everything—our thoughts, our actions, our relationships, and our sense of spiritual alignment.

    The Internal Battle

    Choosing obedience over comfort is not easy.

    Some days it feels like a battle within yourself—your flesh pulling one way, your spirit urging another. In those moments, the decision you make matters more than you realize.

    Growth in faith is not about never facing temptation; it’s about recognizing it and choosing differently.

    A Call to Be Intentional

    This journey is not about perfection—it’s about awareness and intention.

    It’s about catching the moment before “just this once” becomes a pattern. It’s about recognizing when something is pulling you out of alignment and making the conscious decision to return.

    Because compromise is rarely obvious.
    Sometimes it’s subtle… until the distance is undeniable.

    Closing Reflection

    This isn’t about living in fear—it’s about living in alignment.

    A heart that pauses.
    A heart that reflects.
    A heart that chooses obedience, even when it’s difficult.

    Because temporary pleasure is never worth long-term distance from peace, purpose, and the presence of God.

    So the next time you hear that quiet thought—
    “Just this once…”

    Pause.

    And ask yourself:

    Is this leading me closer to who God is calling me to be… or further away?

    –Wendy

  • Unequally yoked: When Love Isn’t Aligned With Purpose

    Unequally yoked: When Love Isn’t Aligned With Purpose

    “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” —Corinthians 6:14

    There are connections in life that feel right emotionally…but don’t align spiritually.

    You can laugh together, talk for hours, and even feel a deep bond—yet something inside you feels off.

    Not because the person is bad. Not because you don’t care. But because you are not walking in the same direction. And that’s what this scripture speaks to.

    🔍What Does “Unequally Yoked” Mean?

    A yoke connects two animals so they can move together.

    If one is stronger, faster, or headed on a different direction, the journey becomes strained.

    In the same way, when you are joined closely with someone who doesn’t share your faith or values:

    • You’ll eventually pull against each other
    • One will feel held back
    • The other may be pressured to change

    What starts as connection can slowly turn into confusion, compromise, or exhaustion.

    ⚖️The Deeper Contrast

    This verse gives two powerful comparisons:

    • Righteousness vs. lawlessness
    • Light vs. darkness

    It’s not just about differences—it’s about opposite foundations.

    When your life is centered on God and theirs is not, your decisions, priorities, and convictions will not match.

    And over time, that gap becomes possible to ignore.

    ❤️It’s Not About Rejection

    This verse is often misunderstood.

    God is not telling you to:

    • Judge people
    • Avoid people
    • Think you’re better than others

    He’s teaching you discernment:

    You can:

    • Love people
    • Be kind to people
    • Support people

    Without being deeply tied to them on a war it effects your walk with Him.

    🧠The Hard Truth

    Sometimes we try to make it work because:

    • We see potential
    • We feel attached
    • We don’t want to let go

    But alignment is not built on potential, it’s built on shared direction.

    You cannot carry a relationship where:

    • You’re chasing God
    • And they’re not

    Eventually, you’ll have to choose:

    👉Compromise your walk

    or

    👉Release what isn’t aligned

    🕊️A Personal Reflection

    There are moments when God gently reveals:

    “This isn’t it.”

    And it doesn’t always come with chaos or conflict—sometimes it comes with quiet conviction.

    That feeling in your spirit?

    That hesitation you can’t explain?

    That’s not confusion.

    Thats discernment.

    🙏Reflection Questions

    • Are my relationships aligned with my faith and values?
    • Am I trying to force something God is asking me to release?
    • Is this connection bringing me closer to God…..or pulling me away?

    💬Encouragement

    Letting go of someone you care about is never easy.

    But being unequally yoked will cost you more than separation ever will.

    God doesn’t remove people to hurt you—

    He does it to protect your purpose.

    What he has for you will be

    • Aligned
    • Peaceful
    • Rooted in Him

    You won’t have to force it.

    🙏Closing Prayer

    Lord,

    Thank You for Your wisdom and truth.

    Help me to have discernment in my relationships.

    Give me the strength to walk away from anything that is not aligned with You, even when it’s hard.

    Guard my heart, my purpose, and my walk with You.

    Teach me to trust that what You remove, You will replace with something greater and aligned with Your will.

    In Jesus’ name,

    Amen.

    –Wendy

  • Trusting God Again in Relationships

    Trust is the foundation of every strong relationship—especially when we choose to love with God at the center. But trust can be difficult, especially after we’ve been hurt. Surrendering control means acknowledging that God’s plan is greater than our own. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Healing takes time. Psalm 147:3 reminds us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

    Even though I’ve been deeply hurt, I once thought I was alone in this pain. But as I opened up, I realized others have walked this road, too. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17). In this journey, that having a big heart is not a weakness. I used to think my heart was too big—vulnerable, too easy to hurt. But now I see it as a gift—one God can use to bring healing, hope, and connection.

    Be aware of others feelings even as you guard your own heart. The world today is not the same—it’s easy to feel isolated or lost. But when we trust God, we build true hope. As Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

    —Wendy

  • Companionship, Stewardship, and the Cost of Settling

    Companionship, Stewardship, and the Cost of Settling

    We all want companionship. It’s a natural desire—to be seen, known, and loved. But the real question isn’t if we want connection…..it’s at what cost?

    I’ve had opportunities to go out with people but I’ve learned I’m not someone who can casually date just to pass time. I don’t want to give someone the wrong impression or lead them to believe I want something more when I don’t. That wouldn’t be fair to them—or to myself.

    This is where stewardship comes in.

    Stewardship isn’t just about money. It’s about how we care for our time, our hearts, our energy, and our purpose. It’s about being intentional with what God has entrusted to us—including relationships. When we treat connection casually , we often end up carrying emotional weight that was never meant for us to hold.

    Companionship should never come at the cost of our peace, our values, or our obedience to God.

    I’ve realized that being alone for a season is not a punishment—it’s protection. It’s space for healing. It’s room for growth. And it’s an opportunity to deepen my walk with God with distraction. Loneliness may knock, but I refuse to answer it with compromise. I have stumbled in this at times, but it’s truly the desire of my heart.

    There’s a difference between being open and being available.

    There’s a difference between companionship and convenience.

    I’m choosing to steward my heart well. I’m choosing clarity over comfort, obedience over options, and peace over pressure. I don’t want temporary connection that costs me long-term wholeness.

    Because the right companionship will never require me to abandon myself—or my faith—to belong.

    “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” —Proverbs 4:23