Grow in Grace

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  • Peace Isn’t Control

    There was a time when I thought I had peace—but what I really had was control.

    I felt calm as long as everything was going right

    As long as people acted the way I expected.

    As long as doors stayed open.

    As long as plans didn’t shift.

    But the moment something changed, my “peace” disappeared.

    And that’s when I realized something:

    If my peace depends on everything in my life going right, then it isn’t peace—it’s control.

    Control says, “ I’m okay as long as nothing moves.”

    Peace says, “Even if everything moves, I am still anchored.”

    Control needs outcomes to cooperate.

    Peace trusts God even when they don’t.

    The kind of peace God offers us is not circumstantial. It doesn’t rise and fall with relationships, finances, health reports, or unanswered prayers. It’s rooted in Him.

    Philippians 4:7 says. “ And the peace of God surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

    Notice it says surpasses understanding.

    That means it doesn’t always make sense.

    It won’t always match your situation.

    You can be grieving and still have peace.

    You can be uncertain and still have peace.

    You can be waiting and still have peace.

    Because real peace is not the absence of problems—it’s the presence of trust.

    Sometimes we call it “peace,” but what we really mean is, “Everything is going my way.” And when it stops going my way, anxiety rushes in because control has slipped through our fingers.

    But surrender feels different.

    Surrender says:

    “God I don’t need to manage every outcome. I trust you with what I can’t see.”

    And this is where peace lives.

    It lives in letting go.

    It lives in releasing the need to orchestrate every detail.

    It lives in believing that even when things fall apart, God is not out of control.

    True peace doesn’t require a perfect life.

    It requires a surrendered heart.

    Reflection Questions:

    1. In what areas of my life have I mistaken control for peace?
    2. When something doesn’t go according to plan, how do you usually respond—with trust or with anxiety?
    3. What situation am I currently trying to manage instead of surrendering to God?
    4. Do I believe God is good even when the outcomes don’t look the way I hoped?
    5. What would it look like to fully release control and trust Him today?

    Closing Prayer:

    Father God,

    I confess that sometimes what I call peace is really just control. I feel calm when everything is going my way, but unsettled when it isn’t. Forgive me for trying to manage what was never mine to carry.

    Teach me what real peace looks like.

    Help me trust You when plans change, when doors close, and when outcomes don’t match my expectations. Remind me that You are steady, even when my life feels uncertain.

    I release the need to control every detail.

    I release the fear of the unknown.

    I release the pressure to hold everything together.

    Guard my heart and mind with Your peace — the kind that doesn’t make sense, the kind that doesn’t depend on circumstances, the kind that only comes from You.

    Anchor me in trust.

    Anchor me in surrender.

    Anchor me in You.

    In Jesus’ name,

    Amen

    —Wendy

  • When God’s Delays Become Divine

    When God’s Delays Become Divine

    There was a season in my life when I felt deeply stuck—like every door was closed, every opportunity delayed. I kept wondering, why is God holding me back? I saw others moving forward, while I stood still.

    But as time passed, I began to see something different. What felt like a delay was actually preparation. God was shaping me. He was protecting me from relationships and paths that weren’t right for me. He was teaching me patience, trust, and surrender.

    Looking back, I realize God’s delays weren’t denials; they were divine detours, guiding me toward something better. I can see now that none of those relationships were equally yoked. I had heard that phrase my whole life, but it took heartbreak to understand it deeply. Now, I know I can never settle for less.

    I will not settle—no matter how tempting, no matter how perfect it may seem on the surface. I will not settle for anything less than being equally yoked—where both of us pursue God, where there is true reciprocation, and where our faith leads us. I know it’s hard these days—especially with social media, where people aren’t always real, and it’s easy to get caught up in illusions. But I will stay grounded, seeking authenticity and God’s truth.

    As Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” So, I trust that God is weaving my story, and when the right person comes, we’ll stand strong—three strands, with God at the center.

    -Wendy

  • Trusting God Again in Relationships

    Trust is the foundation of every strong relationship—especially when we choose to love with God at the center. But trust can be difficult, especially after we’ve been hurt. Surrendering control means acknowledging that God’s plan is greater than our own. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Healing takes time. Psalm 147:3 reminds us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

    Even though I’ve been deeply hurt, I once thought I was alone in this pain. But as I opened up, I realized others have walked this road, too. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17). In this journey, that having a big heart is not a weakness. I used to think my heart was too big—vulnerable, too easy to hurt. But now I see it as a gift—one God can use to bring healing, hope, and connection.

    Be aware of others feelings even as you guard your own heart. The world today is not the same—it’s easy to feel isolated or lost. But when we trust God, we build true hope. As Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

    —Wendy

  • Embracing the Present: Letting Go of the “When” and Living Now

    Embracing the Present: Letting Go of the “When” and Living Now

    There was a time in my life when I lived in survival mode—constantly making sure everything was done, but never really pausing to live in the moment. I thought, “If everything gets better—when this happens, when that happens—then I’ll be happy.”But those days, especially with my children when they were young, slipped through my fingers. Once I realized that, I knew something had to change. I had to let go of waiting for the perfect moment. Instead, I began to live fully in the present—savoring small moments, practicing gratitude, and trusting God in each step.

    As Paul says in Philippians 4:11-12, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” That verse reminds me that peace doesn’t come from perfect circumstances—but from trusting God, right where I am.

    God does give us free will, and that’s a powerful gift. But it means we have a choice —we can keep waiting or step forward now, even if uncertain. Change is scary, and growth is painful, but God can transform us in an instant. He’s healing me—my heart, my mind, even my nervous system from survival mode. So now, I stay open, present, and ready to walk wherever He leads me.

    I no longer live in the “what ifs.” Instead, I live fully in the now, trusting God with each step. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

    I hope, through sharing this, you’ll be encouraged too—to leave behind the uncertainty and live fully today, trusting God for tomorrow.

    —Wendy

  • Companionship, Stewardship, and the Cost of Settling

    We all want companionship. It’s a natural desire—to be seen, known, and loved. But the real question isn’t if we want connection…..it’s at what cost?

    I’ve had opportunities to go out with people but I’ve learned I’m not someone who can casually date just to pass time. I don’t want to give someone the wrong impression or lead them to believe I want something more when I don’t. That wouldn’t be fair to them—or to myself.

    This is where stewardship comes in.

    Stewardship isn’t just about money. It’s about how we care for our time, our hearts, our energy, and our purpose. It’s about being intentional with what God has entrusted to us—including relationships. When we treat connection casually , we often end up carrying emotional weight that was never meant for us to hold.

    Companionship should never come at the cost of our peace, our values, or our obedience to God.

    I’ve realized that being alone for a season is not a punishment—it’s protection. It’s space for healing. It’s room for growth. And it’s an opportunity to deepen my walk with God with distraction. Loneliness may knock, but I refuse to answer it with compromise. I have stumbled in this at times, but it’s truly the desire of my heart.

    There’s a difference between being open and being available.

    There’s a difference between companionship and convenience.

    I’m choosing to steward my heart well. I’m choosing clarity over comfort, obedience over options, and peace over pressure. I don’t want temporary connection that costs me long-term wholeness.

    Because the right companionship will never require me to abandon myself—or my faith—to belong.

    “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” —Proverbs 4:23

  • Finding Strength and Hope Through Life’s Challenges

    Life often takes us on unexpected journeys, and sometimes those journeys include profound challenges. For me, one of the most difficult periods was navigating divorce, a time that tested my faith and resilience.

    Embracing Faith Admist Adversity:

    During those challenging times, I found that my relationship with God was my anchor. It was through faith that I discovered a source of strength beyond my own understanding. Even in moments of profound loss, I learned that God makes beauty from ashes, transforming pain into growth and resilience.

    Isaiah 61:3- and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garmet of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

    The Power of Discernment and Hope:

    As I moved through each day, sometimes hour by hour, I had to constantly check in and ask which voice was I listening to. God’s voice brought clarity, peace, and comfort, while confusion and anxiety were not from Him. This discernment helped me navigate the journey with greater clarity and faith.

    Embracing Growth and Renewal:

    Through it all, I’ve come to understand that every challenge is an opportunity for growth. My faith has not only helped me heal but has also empowered me to be a source of strength for my children and others. As we continue forward, let us hold fast to hope, faith, and the assurance that God’s purpose is always at work.

    –Wendy

  • Faith Is a Muscle

    Faith Is a Muscle

    Faith is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you lose it. And no one can do the work for you.

    I go to the gym with a trainer, and her presence motivates me. She encourages me, pushes me, believes I can do more than I think I can. But no matter how great my trainer is, she can’t lift the weights for me. I still have to do the work.

    Faith works the same way.

    Friends and community can motivate your faith. They can pray for you, encourage you, even believe for you when your faith feels weak. Scripture tells us, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up”(1 Thessalonians 5:11). But encouragement doesn’t replace responsibility. “Each of us will give account of ourselves to God”(Romans 14:12).

    Our walk with Jesus is personal. Just like strength in the gym requires effort, faith requires action. “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action is dead”(James 2:17). We have to show up, trust God, and take steps of obedience—especially when it’s uncomfortable.

    Spiritual growth doesn’t happen by accident. Scripture reminds us to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling”(Philippians 2:12). That doesn’t mean earning grace—it means actively choosing trust, surrender, and obedience in our daily lives.

    Others can walk beside us, cheer us on, and support us—but they can’t do the work for us. Faith is personal. Our trust in Jesus is built one choice at a time.

    —Wendy

  • I Find Myself at a Crossroads: Embracing Growth and Conviction

    I Find Myself at a Crossroads: Embracing Growth and Conviction

    Do you ever struggle with doing the “right thing”? I find myself at a crossroads, constantly trying to do the right thing. It’s a journey filled with challenges, moments of self-doubt, and occasional embarrassment. Yet, it’s also a path of immense growth and self discovery.

    The Journey of Conviction

    In those moments of conviction, when we realize our missteps, we are invited to reflect and grow. It’s not just about feeling guilt; it’s about embracing the opportunity to become better, stronger, and more aligned with our values.

    As we navigate this journey, we are guided by timeless wisdom. Micah 6:8 reminds us:

    “ He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and walk humbly with your God.”

    This scripture underscores the importance of justice, mercy, and humility in our pursuits.

    Ultimately, the journey of doing the right thing is about progress, not perfection. It’s about forgiving ourselves, learning from our experiences, and moving forward with an open heart.

    Prayer

    Dear Heavenly Father,

    Search my heart and reveal anything that is not of You.

    Convict me where I need to change, and give me the courage to respond in obedience.

    Let Your correction lead me closer to You, not away from You.

    Create in me a clean heart and guide my steps in truth. -AMEN

    —Wendy

  • Double-Minded: When the Heart Is Divided

    Double-Minded: When the Heart Is Divided

    There’s a quiet struggle that happens when we want God’s direction but still hold tightly to our own understanding. We pray for clarity, yet hesitate when the answer requires change. We ask for healing, but cling to what feels familiar—even when it’s the very thing that hurt us. This is the space of being double-minded.

    Scripture reminds us, “A double-minded person is unstable in all their ways” (James 1:8). Not because God is withholding, but because a divided heart can’t fully rest. When our trust is split between faith and fear, obedience and comfort, we feel the tension in our spirit.

    I’ve had to admit that I’ve been my own worst enemy in this—wanting God’s direction while resisting the surrender it requires. Caught between faith and fear, clarity and comfort, I delayed healing by holding on longer than I should have.

    Single-minded faith doesn’t mean we never question—it means we choose where we place our trust. It’s deciding to anchor ourselves in God’s truth even when emotions pull us in different directions. Healing begins when we stop living torn between what we know God is asking and what we’re afraid to release.

    Peace comes when we surrender the tug-of-war and let God lead fully—not halfway, not conditionally, but wholeheartedly.

    Reflection Question

    Where in my life am I asking God to lead while still holding on to control?

    Prayer

    God, reveal the places where my heart is divided. Give me the courage to release what I’ve been gripping and the faith to trust You fully. Align my heart with Your will and lead me in steady, unwavering faith. Amen.

    –Wendy

  • Trusting God With What’s Ahead

    Trusting God With What’s Ahead

    As a new year approaches there’s often a quiet invitation to pause and reflect—on where we’ve been, what we’ve carried, and who we are becoming. The start of a new year isn’t just about setting goals; it’s about gaining clarity. It’s about stepping into a fresh season with a renewed perspective of who you are, what you want your life to look like, and allowing God to lead you forward.

    But before we can fully embrace what’s ahead, we often have to loosen our grip on what’s behind us.

    Isaiah 43:18

    “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past.”

    The Weight of “What Ifs”

    The “what ifs” of life can be heavy. What if the relationship had worked? What if I had stayed? What if I had left sooner?

    These questions can quietly keep us stuck—replaying moments we can’t change and outcomes we’ll never fully understand. While reflection can be healthy, living in the past can prevent us from stepping into the future God is preparing us for.

    At some point, the “what ifs” stop being questions and start becoming chains.

    Learning to Let Go of What We Can’t Control

    Letting go doesn’t mean dismissing the pain or pretending the past didn’t matter. It means recognizing that some things are no longer ours to carry. We aren’t meant to have control over every outcome, every relationship, or every chapter that ends.

    There’s freedom in surrender—freedom that comes when we say, “God I trust you even when I dont understand.”

    A New Year, A New Perspective

    Going into a new year with goals isn’t just about what you want to accomplish—it’s about who you want to become. It’s choosing to move with intention, wisdom, and faith. It’s allowing God to shape your path instead of clinging to what feels familiar.

    New season requires new vision. And sometimes, new vision requires releasing the old one.

    Philippians 3:13-14

    “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one things I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

    Whatever you may be struggling with, when you consciously seek God’s guidance, He will bless you with more than money can buy: peace in the midst of storms, comfort in times of pain, joy in moments of sorrow, and direction through life’s trials. He will light your path and lead the way.

    Psalm 119:105

    “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

    —Wendy